I have been asking this question for the last couple of weeks. I don’t fit into my current workplace, I don’t feel like I belong to this place. It is so cold here (literally, the AC turns on 24/7). I do my job as usual, but whenever I touch something hybrid-digitally, I start to get complaints from people as if I were stepping on other people’s roles.
I only have three days left being in this building, then I will take a week off then move on to my new offer. That’s why I am sitting here, trying to figure out why I go to work every day, how much time I have left for my retirement, and what kind of goals I want to achieve in life.
Thinking back to 12 years ago, everything was so easy. When I was still working for the gym, my motivation was simple: to have money, to survive. 600M VND spent on university fees was huge in 2012, I just wanted to rush out of school and get a paid job, so that I didn’t have to hear my parents complaining how expensive everything was. Yes, I was frustrated, but in a good way. This frustration helped me to focus on doing a job logically with experience gained accumulatively, which contributed to who I am today.
Let’s get back to my current story. Yes, I am not fit for this culture at all. My boss left a week ago, everything my colleagues said made me uncomfortable; I also have a feeling that they really don’t want me here.
If not for the money, what would I do?
For me, the exact same thing I have been doing for the last 12 years. With Marketing, I get to read and research. The funny thing is that I am not a fan of books, but I love to read about different types of business models, operation practices, product lines and service streams. This type of information gives me an exact idea of how the world works and where important things are at the moment.
See more: Keyword planning - What I have been doing for the last 12 years.
When I was younger, I went to work because I was curious. A bit older, I read as my hobby. That’s also one of the reasons why I have my career settled in IT service companies. In the simplest terms, they produce a product, if that product fits into a specific need of a market, then it grows. But growth for how long, no one really knows.
See more: How I spend time with AhaSlides.
The most beautiful thing about it is that, even though IT is difficult and requires lots of stress and hair loss, the work is about logic. Which means your boss cannot fire you just because of his personal interest. In the tech world, if you know what you are doing, no one can mess with you!
Below are the four reasons why I work, sorted by my priorities:
#1. To solve the maze inside my head
Whenever I drive, I can picture an exact route to get from point A to point B (that’s why I am good at driving). For me, the road shapes are formed as squares and triangles, I connect the roads not by the names, but by the logic. Then, I just started to drive by my instinct, not by looking at the exact location to know where to go next!
The same thing happens to me when I think about work. I normally imagine a work task as an entity which needs to be developed over time. The issue here is how to grow those tasks into one direction that benefits the product/service interests.
#2. To achieve things which I could not do when I was younger
It’s not like money or hierarchy like many of you are thinking about, my problem was simpler. I couldn’t do maths, or science, or physics back in high school and university. I always admired people who could do that. With my current work, I can actually do maths.
In a university context, maths is hard. The working sheet is full of formulas, equations and lots of maths terms and even now I still don’t get it. But in a work context, it’s just so easy. I have a list of expenses, then I have these lists of contracts which could be converted into revenue. The profit is revenue minus the expense. The trick here is that there are lots of types of expenses, sometimes there is also accumulation and depreciation. You will need to read and understand the business context thoroughly to complete your P&L.
In Marketing terms, the maths is even simpler. You don’t even need to count, you just need to keep an eye on the rates, to convert from Impression/Reach > Click/Session > Purchase. There are of course more complicated metrics, but the basic principle stays the same: We need to get more attention out of a specific population, which means the higher the rate is, the better.
#3. I don’t have anything else to do
If I am not at work, where would I be? My child will grow up, my demand will shrink when I age, since old people have fewer needs compared with the younger ones. Then, what is the meaning of my existence?
I have passed the point of life when I still enjoyed life and travel. This happened when I had translated thousands of Vietnamese destinations in one of my old jobs. The history is simple, there was always a tribe, then some stronger ones came in, invaded, colonized that place into their territories. The works from the past tribe became legend, then heritage sites were built for people to remember the “old days”.
The funny thing is that humans make the same mistakes over and over again. For example: we already know the wars are bad, especially after the two world wars, but there are still battles going on in the Middle East at the moment. Nations are always in hunger, that’s all, and that’s why there are always wars.
The world operates on certain patterns and recurring cycles. For me, going to work is simply a way to observe those universal laws playing out every single day at a micro level.
At the end of the day, we are all at work and waiting, till the day our organic body ages and reaches the final line.
#4. I don’t want to engage with people, but I love watching their daily lives
Just like nations, people come in different types. There are certain types of people who are very aggressive and eager to battle (they are very important if you’re planning to start a war), but there are also groups of people who are gentle, chill and really enjoy their existence on Earth. Going to work lets me meet all kinds of people. By looking at people’s behaviors, I could see things like:
- How will this organization grow if run by these specific groups?
- Are they happy/sad/frustrated? What are the overall mood tones of their daily lives?
One of my strengths, but also weaknesses is that I let other people’s feelings easily affect my mood. Which means that I cry and get angry easily because of other people’s feelings. My parents and my husband say that this is not a good thing, especially if I am in a toxic workplace. But, that’s who I am, and that’s how I get to know people.
So, why do I work?
Twelve years ago, the answer fit in one word: money. Today it takes four reasons and a whole page, and I think that’s a good sign. It means work has become something I choose, not just for me to survive.
Looking back at the list, I notice that none of the four reasons is about a title, a salary, or a company name. They’re about how I think and how I feel. I look for problems with a shape I can see, like roads on a map. I can work with numbers that tell me whether I’m getting closer.
